I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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