omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
