FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
