I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
