If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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