OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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