so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize