The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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