My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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