just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She bit a glass in half.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
