Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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