I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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