Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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