1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
