Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize