we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
