What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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