video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
