When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
