i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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