Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The adults are the big ones right?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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