The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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