Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
