just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize