remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
