Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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