Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
