How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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