is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
