1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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