Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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