Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
