i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
