Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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