oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
