I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
