erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
