Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
