Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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