you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Porn is love you can see.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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