no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
