She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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