So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
