My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
