Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
