the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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