i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
