I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
