You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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