the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
