therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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