Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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