they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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