SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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