I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
