I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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