See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
