My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
pray to the hookup gods
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
