It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
