Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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