We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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