like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
