I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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