well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
