his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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