I wish I could teleport
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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