I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
