Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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