i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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