when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
