Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
