you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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